30-Day BPD Challenge – Day 11

isabellestpierre_1357677842_77Today’s question: Is there anything you do that helps keep you grounded?

There are a number of things that I do to help keep me grounded, some healthy and some um, well, not so healthy.

One of my healthy ways of staying grounded would have to be my blog and writing things out. It’s more the writing things out, exploring my thoughts and feelings through words that helps me; posting them publicly isn’t really for me. I post things publicly because there’s a slim chance that someone out there might get something out of it.

Another healthy way of staying grounded is to lose myself in music; either by playing one of the many instruments I play (guitar, piano, flute, or synthesizer to name a few) or listening to music. The one thing I really need to be careful when if comes to listening to music is to be selective in what I listen to as some music tends to be more triggering than others so listening to music can cut both ways…speaking of cut…

One of my unhealthy ways of staying grounded would have to be cutting. The pain it brings helps to bring me back from the edges of emotions too strong for me to handle. The pain grounds me, centers me, is very cathartic in some way, and is what I reach for now when I feel suicidal in any way whatsoever. My therapist doesn’t like that I cut (go figure, right?) and we are working on helping me find other ways to cope; the problem is nothing works as well or as fast for me as cutting does. Yes, I know it’s not healthy, but then I know Ana is in control of my eating , it’s unhealthy, but I am at a loss about how to gain control over her.

Oh well, one day at a time is all I can promise myself and anyone else for that matter.

Peace, love, and contentment,

PS. You can find the 30-Day Borderline Personality Disorder Challenge here…

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