Food Log & Blog Changes

Trigger warning: This blog post talks about my eating disorder and calorie goals/consumed

anorexia Calories consumed: 246


I’m not sure if myFitnesspal is my best friend or my worst enemy; maybe it’s a little of both. I do use this app religiously and use it to log everything I eat; nothing passes my lips without first being weighed and then logged into myFitnesspal. One reason I use myFitnesspal over some of the other apps is because myFitnesspal allows me to set my own calorie goal while most of the other apps I looked at wouldn’t let you set a calorie goal less than 1,200 calories per day. Yes, I guess I could still use them, but when I look to see how many calories I have left on any given day, I don’t want to have to do math in my head (come on, I have a hard enough time balancing a checkbook and I know my weaknesses).

My food diary is public, so anyone interested in it can find it here… (this link opens a new window, just so you know).

I currently have my calorie goal set to 500 calories per day, but rarely manage to eat more than 200 – 250 per day. While there are days I intend to not eat anything at all, I always have 3 saltine crackers when taking my pills otherwise they upset my stomach too much. So on fasting days I do get at least 72 calories from the 6 saltine crackers I have; 3 with my morning pills and 3 more with my evening pills. I also use myFitnesspal to keep track of my daily weigh ins (my official daily weigh in is that first one in the morning after going potty, not any of the 15 or so weigh ins that take place throughout the day). My morning weigh in also helps decide if it’s going to be a fasting day or if I can eat something…

Today I managed to eat 246 calories, knowing that tomorrow I have a busy day and it doesn’t do me any good to black out while at my group therapy sessions. If I didn’t have anything planned for tomorrow I more than likely would have only eaten closer to 100 calories…

Blog Changes

I’ve decided to make some changes to my blog, namely I’m experimenting with new themes, so you may notice a couple of different themes over the next couple of days. I’m not sure exactly what I’m looking for, but I’ll know it when I see it! I’ll also be cleaning up some of the categories and tags since I didn’t really have a plan when I created them, so it’s time to organize them, eliminate some, possibly add some new ones, and just organize things better. Yes, I’m OCD and organization of things is something that comes out of my OCD…I know this and accept it.

Peace, love, and contentment,


  1. I’m like that when I change my theme. Currently the theme I am using is working for me and has been for awhile although I do change the background picture regularly. When I do though I have to keep trying pictures after pictures until it ‘feels’ right. I have to admit, I take after my mom in that regard. :/

    • If trying different pictures until it “feels right” is the worst thing you got from your mother…you’re doing good! There are far worse things we pickup from our parents :/

      • Oh my word, I couldn’t fill a post with all the horrible things I experienced as a result of my mom. This is one of the rare good things I got from her. I have zero feelings for her. I didn’t even grieve her when she died because she was basically dead to me a decade before.

        • I’ve not really had any contact with my family for a long time myself. So I can relate with where you’re coming from here.

          Sorry things with your mother were so horrible 🙁

          • Over the years I learned to find the good she gave me. I knew I needed to resolve it before she died or she would forever live in my head. She did instill in me the will to live and the confidence that I could survive anything, no matter what. She also gave me the gift of wanting to explore the world around me and looking at things I’ve seen a thousand times as if I am seeing them for the first time. She gave me a lot of “things” but never gave what was most important – love, affection and self worth.

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