No!

It’s not been a good day today nor was it a good weekend. Working on a couple of posts for later today (I mean it’s just past midnight here at the moment) about the weekend, people, parties, eating (or not) etc. Whilst sitting in bed (which I’ve not left today except to get things to drink and later to deposit said drinks into the potty) and listening to music on Pandora and YouTube the song, ‘No’ by Fools for Rowan came up…it struck a chord tonight so I wanted to share. I’ve highlighted the parts of the lyrics that resonated with me tonight; yes my suicidal ideation as been pegged at 10 this weekend, so those passages don’t surprise me that they spoke to me so…

So this is what it feels like
To die and not be really dead
To feel no pain, to just feel hollow
And hear those words you said
Playin’ over and over in my head

No, oh no, no, no
Please stop that sound
No, please give me peace
Just let me drown
Don’t, don’t make me live without
What i can’t live without

Just let me lie here in my sorrow
Til the grass grows over me
Let the Earth take all my tomorrows
Cause I can’t face the emptiness
Or these screams comin’ from my chest

No, oh no, no, no
Please stop that sound
No, please give me peace
Just let me drown
Don’t, don’t make me live without
What i can’t live without

Bridge:
I hear your goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Hear your goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
Hear your goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, GOODBYE

No, oh no, no, no
Please stop that sound
No, please give me peace
Just let me drown
Don’t, don’t make me live without
What i can’t live without

2 Comments

  1. Wow the song you chose really touched me…Please think about what we discussed the other night, I’m worried for you.

  2. “So this is what it feels like
    To die and not be really dead
    To feel no pain, to just feel hollow
    And hear those words you said
    Playin’ over and over in my head”

    These words hit home with me. They are how I’m feeling … Scary

    I hope things are getting better for you. Hugs.

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